Aklimda tereddutler, onumde rehberimiz, yanimda kadim dostum oldugu halde adim adim “neon haberci”ye yaklastik. Yaklastikca neon lambayla tarihi bir Rum evi zerafetindeki binanin arasindaki celiski daha da belirginlesti. Mimari ayrintilari gunduz gozuyle yapilacak bir tahlile birakip mermer doseli merdivenleri selamladik. Binanin kendisi kadar yasli durmayan asansorun onune kadar geldik. Gicirtili bir yolculuktan sonra ucuncu kata vardik.

Biraz sonra goreceklerimin, Istanbul’a olan gonul bagimi cok farkli boyutlara tasiyacagindan habersiz, terasa cikan uc bes basamagi da cocuksu bir merakla adimladim.

Simdiye kadar Istanbul’da gordugum yapilar ile burasi arasindaki en onemli fark; kendisimi Istanbul’un tam ortasindaymis gibi hissettirmesiydi. Bir an kendimi mevlevi dervisler gibi donerken buldum. Kendi etrafimda donmek degil ama karsimdaki manzara basimi dondurmustu. Sagim, solum, onum, arkam, her yer Istanbul’du…

Cocukken, aksamlari mahallemizde oynadigimiz saklambac geldi bir an aklima. Kim ebeyse duvara yaslanip geriye dogru saymaya baslar, geri sayim bittiginde  o meshur cumleyi soyleyip sokaga donup dikkatli gozlerle etrafini suzerdi. Bu cocukluk hatirasini zihnimde canlandiran, o cati katinda etrafima merakli gozlerle bakmak oldu. O an kendimi, Istanbul’un gece mavisi altinda parlayan titrek siluetlerle saklambac oynar gibi hissettim ve bu oyun gece boyu devam etti.

Sicak sohbetimiz, demli caylarimiz esliginde devam ederken, sevimli, simarik siluetler bakislarimi yakalamaya calisip dikkatimi uzerlerine cekmeye calisiyorlardi. Ben, bir yandan konusmalara eslik etmeye calisirken, bir yandan da “sevimli dostlarimi” tebessumle suzuyordum. Vakit ilerledikce sohbet koyulasiyor, gecenin agirligi da gozlerime dusuyordu. Bu guzel mekanda, tatli sohbetimizi noktalayip, bir kac hatira fotografi cekip, yola koyulduk.

Ayrilirken sevimli, simarik dostlarimla son bir kez goz goze geldik. Ne onlar oyuna, ne de ben onlara doyabilmistim. Cunku bende koca bir yilin susuzlugu vardi ve bu manzaraya bir gecede doyabilmem mumkun degildi.

Tekrardan karanlik sokaklari arsinlarken aklimda; saklambac, sevimli dostlarim ve makinamda kayitli bir kac Galata hatirasi vardi.

Since days are getting longer, Largemouth’s kids can find more time to play with their friends after they do their homework. Summer means lots of fun; games, competitions and prizes. During every break time, the children run to the garden and talk about their goals for this summer and prepare for the contests. Competions have been going on for years now in Largemouth. Competitions include trying to find the right route in the Lake Forest, finding a hidden bag in a certain area with following clues… But none of these are as competitive as catching a largemouth fish.

The village has taken its name from this fish. Largemouth is a kind of bass. It has a very famous taste which is well known throughout the country. People come from hundreds of miles away to taste this fish. After a certain time the village became known as Largemouth. As you may have guessed, the most famous activities here are fishing and exciting fishing contests. For adults it is just fun to participate this event. But it is not just a recreation for kids and teenagers. Every single child has a dream about being champion in this contest. It is like a proof of puberty. If a child wins a prize, everybody will talk about him or her, each radio channel will interview with the child. Eventually that kid will become the most known in the county.

Both Frank and Jonathan like fishing and they are also excited about annual contest. nlike other children Jonathan and Frank don’t talk that much about the competition. These two kids would like to prefer talking about their dreams.

Jonathan wants to build the largest farm and earn a lot of money so he can take care of his baby sisters’ education and his father’s and mother’s health. With this money he would take care of his family. Since they don’t have enough money at that time; his dream start from penury and end with wealth.
Jonathan also has a dream. He wants to be a doctor. He would like to study at the best university in the country and he imagines building a big hospital in Largemouth, he wants to help his grandpa because he is very old and very sick.
Lying on the grass, both of them like telling these dreams to each other. Frank’s long brown hair sprayed in the air and he was gazing into huge white clouds with his dark brown eyes. Jonathan put his arms on his knees, while looking deeply into the sky with his ocean blue eyes. When the sun turns into a red ball at the horizon, they remembered, it is time to go back to home; they don’t want to miss the dinner with their family. They shook hands and agreed on meeting at the same place as they always do. After a few steps later, Frank turned to Jonathan and shouted:

-Hey, John! I got a surprise for you tomorrow.
-What is that? Com’n tell me.
-No, you should wait until tomorrow.
- Ok, Frankie! See you tomorrow. Don’t make me wait ok?
-Ok!

These two boys are such good friends, everybody admired them and couldn’t help but be somewhat jealous of them. Because they are getting along with each other very well, sharing their toys and their thoughts. They are even like brothers. Every time after they finished their homework, they start planning the next day. Where are they going to go? Which game will they play…? But this night was kind of different from previous nights. Frankie was thrilled by a present, his grandpa gave him, a fishing rod. Grandpa has a particular place in Frankie’s life. He always pays attention to Frankie’s ideas, participates in Frankie’s dreams, and play games with him. Grandpa and Frankie are like friends. This old man is Frankie’s second best friend after Johnny. So this fishing rod meant a lot to him.
Frankie held the rod very carefully and thought about how many big fishes he can catch with it. He is sure that Johnny, too, will love this fishing rod; because they’ve used just simple rods so far. And they couldn’t catch big fishes with those. But this is a real rod and they can catch big enough fishes for the prize, this year. They will get this year’s title with Johnny. Frankie went to bed with various dreams about his present, of course Grandpa and Johnny took place in those dreams.
Like every summer morning, sun hit Frankie’s bedroom first. He likes getting up with rising sun and looking from his little window to the green fields across the house. He got dressed, went downstairs, had his breakfast and kissed his mom and ran to school. He can’t wait to tell Johnny about his rod and contest and prize… He has to tell everything he dreamt of yesterday.
Class was over. Jonathan was waiting for Frank at the place they agreed upon yesterday. After a few minutes Frankie came and told about his rod, winning this year’s contest and prize with a great enthusiasm. Johnny went crazy and said:
- That’s great, my friend. We have to start practicing now.
- Absolutely. We have just ten days.
- I have line, bait and all other stuff for fishing. Let’s meet on the deck in half an hour
- Deal. See you then.

Jonathan went to get the equipment from his home. After half an hour they met on the deck again. After a quick preparation, Frank sent first bait to the lake. They spent two hours; they couldn’t catch anything but a bunch of weeds, which rolled around hook.
Days passed with practice and they struggled for the whole week. Three days are remaining to the contest. Jonathan asked Frank to try little bit more this day, when Frankie told he need to turn back to home. Frankie left Johnny and went home.
About half an hour later, a strong thing was pulling the line. Johnny was excited, because they couldn’t catch anything for days. He thought that this must be a huge largemouth. While he was fighting with this strong and heavy thing, Jonathan remembered his father’s advise about fishing:
“Be patient. They can understand if you are a rookie fisherman or a master one. You should flow the bait as if a fish in the water”.
The fish was still fighting with Johnny. He was sure that this was a really large one. He release the line little bit because the rod became very tight and he didn’t want to break it. He followed the fish near the lake about a mile. He suddenly stopped and pulled the rod against the fish. The fish jumped through the water as if it wanted to show his shining, large body with a quick jump in order to intimidate Johnny. He was amazed by the size of it. “I will get you boy, don’t waste your energy. Either way I will catch you” said Jonathan while he was holding his legs strong and rolling the line and pulling the rod strongly, again and again. He was shocked because the worst thing happened. Frankie’s most precious gift is now in two pieces, actually there was just one of two pieces in his hand. The other one had gone with the stubborn big, fat fish. He was upset and confused. What was he going to tell Frankie and how is he going to explain what happened? What would Frankie say then? He could not find any answer to these questions. He was totally upset. That was the first time he felt that guilty.
The next day they met at the same place. Frank was energetic and impatient about that day’s practice. However Jonathan couldn’t even look Frankie in the eye. He tried to explain the situation. He tried to say something. He went around the fact but he didn’t come to the point. Frank didn’t understand anything.
“Come on! Why are we still here? Let’s go, catch some largemouth” said Frank with pulling Johnny. Finally he realized that something is wrong and looked in Johnny’s deep blue eyes and asked “What’s wrong my friend! Is that something wrong at the home?”
Jonathan gave a long breath; then started to tell everything with every little detail, told everything from beginning to the end. This time Frankie was shocked, now it was his turn to stay silent.
After a couple of minutes, he got angry and shouted at Johnny:
“That’s great. I lend you the most precious thing I have ever had and you broke it. I can’t believe it. I trusted you and I gave it to you but look what you did. You broke it. You messed up everything. There is no more dream, no contest, no practice and, and no more friendship, Jonathan” After that last word a deep silence filled everywhere like a cold wind. Frank, too, felt this cold effect. Johnny was trying to catch Frank’s eyes but this time Frankie was trying to avoid eye contact.
Johnny blushed; he didn’t know what to say. Frankie left him on the top of the hill. Frankie was alone. He was staring towards the sky. The red ball slid down the horizon. The crescent replaced it in the sky. He was still sitting there. His arms were on his knees. He has been sitting there for hours, thinking about how he will make up his mistake.
Finally a great idea came to him. He stood up and whispered to the stars “I found how I am going to make this up Frankie and I hope you will forgive me. I will do it for the sake of our friendship. Even though you thought it was over” Even he could hardly hear the last sentence.
Two days remaining… Flyers and commercials about the competition were everywhere. Every cafe and bar is full of people talking about it. Public radio and television stations were broadcasting interviews with former champions and juries. Everybody was enjoying this ambiance of an annual festival except one person, Frankie. He had dreams about this year’s competition, the biggest fish, record, ceremony, celebration and crazy happiness with Johnny. “No” he said suddenly as if he was waking from a nightmare. “There will be nobody named as Jonathan in my life anymore”. His mother heard him while he was talking to himself and asked, “Don’t you think you are being mean to Jonathan? You said he was sorry about his mistake. If somebody is regretful about what he did, you have to try to understand his feelings, sweetie.” Frankie didn’t say anything. He knows his mother was right but somehow he couldn’t forgive Jonathan, even though, when they were broke up he felt very alone in the town. He has family, other friends, toys… But nothing made him happy like he used to be with Johnny. He realized what a big importance Johnny has in his life. But his pride kept him forgiving Johnny.

Johnny made his plan and wasted no time put it into action. First he bought a new rod with his money. He had been saving his money for three years for his college education. But his friendship was more important than his college dream. He ran to a hunting equipment shop. He put his money on the desk and asked Old man for the best rod that this money could buy. Old man was curious about the money and the boy, by the way he saw the innocence on his face and asked kindly why he wants to buy such a thing with this large amount of money. Johnny told everything that happened at the river, Frankie’s attitude and his decision. The Old man put his hand to his chin and took pity on him, pat his head and he gave him the most durable and quality one in the shop. The kind Old man made an extra discount for him and told some tricks about using the rod and also catching a largemouth in fresh water. Jonathan thanked him and went all the way to the spot where he broke the previous one. He chose same place because Old man told him that he should go to the spot where he fought with that big, stubborn fish. He spent the whole afternoon there and caught some fishes for dinner. That will make the dinner delicious, but it didn’t make Johnny feel better.
He lay in his bed and he began to dream about same things Frankie dreamt more than a week ago. Maybe Frankie gave up dreaming about the competition. But it was Johnny’s turn. It is time to realize the dream of his friend and make up the friendship, turn back the time to cheerful and happy days.
He spent the last day searching for information about catching a largemouth. He talked with experienced people and collected as much information as he could about the area.
Neither did he call Frankie, nor did Frankie call him. Frankie didn’t go out of his home even during the days of competition and didn’t talk to anybody. Johnny was registered for 15-20 year old group. He was the youngest one in twenty. Nobody wanted compete with older ones so generally 15 year old ones wait a couple of year. But there is not enough time for Johnny. Rules were simple: everybody has an assigned number, they have time until dawn. Competitors must bring their fish before sun goes down. Fish must be at least 10lb.
Jonathan went to the spot directly. It was about three o’clock in the afternoon. He reviewed everything in his mind: what learnt from Old man, old fishermen, everything… He decided to throw the same bait; that he threw on the day the rod broke. He was standing still and let the bait flow with the water as if a real fish was in water. He was alert of feeling any vibration at the top of the rod. He sat on a rock near the water. The sun was been filtered by a large leaf. There were light beams that escaped from the leaf, coming through the air on the water and reflecting to the dark blue eyes of Johnny. He was watching the dance of light beams on the water; he loosened his hand from the rod. Suddenly something pulls the rod strongly, he could hardly hold onto it, and then he pulled it back with a strong and sudden movement. Fish corresponded with him- it pulled both line and Johnny. The fish waited for the most convenient time to eat the bait as if he was waiting for Johnny to fall in into his dreams. “Not this time” said Johnny. “You are mine” he added. They fought for a few minutes. Johnny rolled the line a little bit but it became very tight then he remembered Frankie’s rod and he released it again. But he thought that if he looses this fish he will looses his friend as well. He pulled the line this time stronger and rolled it quickly, pulled and rolled, again, again… The closer it got the happier Johnny became. Finally he understood, his stubborn, old friend gave up. He saw it quivering on the side of the water. The only thing he thought at this time was Frankie. He ran to the jury table. He didn’t even think about what the other players may have caught. Juries measured the weight of the fish. Everybody was surprised when the results were announces because this little boy set a new record with 16 lb. Jonathan was the winner of this year unless somebody beat this new record. Jonathan sat down on a chair on the porch of the register house, and began to wait for other fishermen in his class. While he was waiting, he saw three of twenty contestants return with no fish. Another five participants did not catch fish larger than Johnny’s; but they still had enough for a good dinner this evening. One hour until dawn, everyone returned to have their fishes weighed. With every returning player, Jonathan could feel his heart beat in his chest more strongly because nobody beat his record so far.
It was down to last two competitors…Second to the last one took on second place with his 15lb 3oz fish which is very close to the old record. And the last one’s fish had third place. Johnny went crazy; he hugged his mother and father. They were all very happy. This year’s prize was a fishing rod, the most famous brand fishing rod with only the best equipment. No doubt! It is much more expensive than Frankie’s. It may not have the same meaning with Frankie’s grandpa’s present but it was worth to try As soon as he got the prize he ran to Frank’s house and called Frankie from in front of Frankie’s window while he was short of breath.
“Hey! Frank! … Frankie!”
Frank looked outside from his window without saying anything. He was still angry at him but somewhat curious about his friend’s present attitude. Frankie had never seen his friend that excited and out of breath.
Jonathan could hardly speak:
“I … surprise … you. … down”
Frank was trying to figure out what Jon was saying. At least he got the point that Jonathan wanted him to come down. At the same time a stick at his hand and a box near Johnny doubled the intensity of his curiosity. When he went near Johnny, Johnny began to tell him everything within one breath. With every sentence he heard, he blushed little bit more, because he was embarrassed with every detail of the story. Finally he realized how strong of a friendship they have. There has been no joy in his life for days. And also he realized, his friend, Johnny spent all his time for him. He did everything he could to make up for his mistake.

Frankie’s mother asked Johnny to stay for dinner. There was no possibility to deny this offer because he had not eaten anything since he woke up this morning. Grandpa, Mr. and Mrs. Walker, Frankie and Johnny were all at the table together. A couple of minutes passed and nobody said anything, then Grandpa began to speak:

- Boys, difficult times in our life help us to realize something which we didn’t pay attention to before. I am sure you have realized a lot of things about each other since you were broken up. How important you are for each other, how strong of a friendship you have established for years. Now you know each other much better than you did a couple of weeks ago. Now you know the meaning of this second chance

Frank and Jonathan looked each other. These looks had both apology and thankfulness. They’ve remembered that dinner and the second chance for the rest of their lives.

Ogretmenimizin istedigi sekilde; bir tane uc ortali cizgili, Turkce dersi icin; bir adet uc ortali cizgili Sosyal bilgiler dersi icin ve bir tane de dort ortali kareli defter Matematik ve Fen bilgisi dersi icin… Ogretmenimin aldirdigi notlar esliginde defterlerimi almaya mahalle kirtasiyecisine gidiyorum. Iceri girer girmez -yillar sonra dahi hatirlayacagim- bir koku sariyor etrafimi.Rengarenk kap kagitlarinin pesi sira duran kursun kalem kokusuna; kar beyaz, kareli, cizgili defterlerin kokusu karisiyor. Hele butun cazibesiyle vitrinde bas koseye oturmus, buram buram kokular surunmus, gelen her musteriyi bastan cikarmaya calisan bir dilber edasiyla silgiler… Gariptir, silgiler de buyuklerin yasaklarindan nasibini almislardi. Kokulari bagimlilik yapar dusuncesiyle onlari satin almak, hatta koklamak dahi sakincaliydi. Hayatin acili tarafi, bazi arkadaslarimi baska turlu; boyali, kokulu turlu turlu yasaklarin bagimlisi yapmisti. Hatirldikca acili bir gulumseme hissederim dudaklarimda, acaba bu tuhafligin sebebi buyuklerin korumaci, yasakci tavri mi; yoksa kucuklerin yasak ve zararli olana karsi anlamsiz israri mi?

Nerede kalmistik? Koseye kurulmus, suslu silgiler yerinde otura dursun. Okuldaki yaramazliklarin, muzipliklerin asil sorumlusuna ugramadan, onun kiskirticiligindan ilham almadan mahallemizin gozde kirtasiyesini terketmek olmaz. Zaten kapidan iceri girerken o hinzir bakisiyla aklimi celmisti bile. Burasi kirtasiyenin saka kosesi. Butun cocuklarin en cok ilgilendikleri kisim denebilir. O yuzden silgi reyonuyla arasi hep aciktir. Silgilerin goz boyayici renkleri, ucuk kokulari ve ilginc sekilleri, saka kosesine varincaya kadar gosterir etkisini.

Bakalim bu sefer neler var sakacinin eteginde: Korkunc maskeler herzamanki gibi birinci sirada; sinifa en erken gelen, en caliskan ogrenciyi korkutmak icin. Bir digeri, uzerine oturunca garip bir ses cikaran sakaci; sinifin en cok konusan kizi icin. Hepsinin icinde kulhanbeyi bir cuce var ki, butun yaptiklarindan sonra milletin yuzune nasil bakar bilinmez ama muziplikleriyle hala bizleri guldurmeyi basarir. Ufacik kutusunun icinde masumane durur ama bir tutamini, ogretmenin masasinin uzerinde nazikce konulmus bir demet cicegin uzerine serpistirince, olanlara butun sinifin katilarak guldugunu dun gibi hatirlarim.

Goruldugu gibi bizim hic bir kusurumuz yok aslinda.  Nedense her vukuatta neden kirtasiyecinin degil de bizim, mudur yardimcisi, bay catik kasin karsisina ciktigimizi merak ederim. Galiba bu da yazinin basindaki soru gibi daha uzun sure; buyuklerin yasakciligiyla, kucuklerin muzip israri arasinda sikisip kalacak.

Yine de cocuklugumdaki kirtasiyenin muzip kokusu her hatirladigimda beni tebessum ettiriyor. Herhalde, su kadar yil aradan sonra her ne kadar azari biz isitmis olsak da kirtasiyeci amcaya bir tesekkur borcluyuz.Bir tesekkur de ayni kokuyla gelen yazma ve okuma tutkusu icin…

Yazma tutkusunun, kendimde var olduğunu ilk ne zaman fark ettim hatırlamıyorum. Bildiğim bir şey var ki, bu duyguyu ne zaman içimde hissetsem hemen yazmaya koyulmam gerektiğidir.

O an kendimi, iki boyutlu kâğıt düzlemindeki, tek üç boyutlu cisim gibi hissediyorum. Bir ucundan yanmaya başlayan bu düzlem, giderek erimekte ve hareket alanım git gide küçülmektedir. Ta ki; elime kalemi alıp, mürekkebiyle onu söndürünceye kadar…

Üzerinde çalıştığım kâğıdın cinsi hiç önemli değil. Bazen, bitmesine birkaç yaprak kalmış not defterimin son sayfası, bazen şehirlerarası otobüs yolculuğunda muavinin sormasını beklerken elimde katlayıp açtığım otobüs bileti, bazen de bir kabz halinin tam ortasında elime aldığım boş bir defterin ilk sayfası…

Kaleme gelince… Aslında onun da ne şekli, ne de markası önemli. Arkadaşımdan alel acele aldığım bir (uçlu) kalem, kasiyerden rica ettiğim emanet bir kalem,( babamın deyimiyle “aradığın zaman işe yarar bir tane bulamadığın”) evin içinde kovalayıp, ücra bir köşesinde yakaladığım, on tanesi şu kadar liralık tükenmez kalem… Önemli olan içinde, sayfamdaki ateşi söndürecek kadar mürekkep olması.

Sonrasına gelince, yanık ucunda siyahtan beyaza doğru açılan renk paleti sinmiş beklerken, diğer ucunda da karaladıklarına bakan, dirsekleri dizlerinin üzerinde düşünen ben… Beynindeki hangi fikirleri çarpıştırsa, hangi duyguları birbirine sürtse de çıkan kıvılcımlarla kâğıdın başka bir yanını tekrar yakmaya koyulsa ve sonra bu ateşi söndürmek için bilmem neredeki mürekkep fışkırtan tulumbayı çağırsa…

Ve merak ediyor (âdemoğlu üç boyut), bir kenarda oturmuş başı kollarının üzerinde düşünen, son kâğıt parçasını nerede, hangi duygularla tutuşturacak ve hangi mürekkeple söndüre(bil)ecek (mi?).

]]> http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/yazmak/feed/ 0 mehmetsozturk http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/about/ http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/about/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2008 09:44:07 +0000 mehmetsozturk http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/?p=19 ]]> This site will serve as a memoriable. Those memories may be either in a form of writing or an digitized moment of life, photos. I believe that life is comprised of memories. Some of them could be forgotten and some of them should be recalled everytime. Furthermore there will be stories here.

I hope you will enjoy them.

Okulun son zili çaldı. Kitaplarını topladı, eşyaları çantasına koydu, sırasından yavaşça doğruldu.

—Yine aynı şeyler dedi. Kendi kendine…

—Hiç kimse yok. Şu hale bak her gün okula yalnız geliyor, yalnız dönüyorum. Ne bir arkadaşım var, ne de hiç olmazsa selam verebileceğim biri… Diye geçirdi içinden.

Tek başına evinin yolunu tutmuşken, yolun ortasındaki gazoz kapağına ayağıyla vurdu, sanki futbol oynar gibi… Evine bir kaç dakika kala “yaprak yol”dan geçiyordu. Sonbaharda yürüdüğü bu yol, sapsarı yapraklarla örtüldüğünden, Mahir bu yola “yaprak yol” adını koymuştu. Zaten bu yüzden Mahir bu beş yüz yirmi altı adımlık yola -adımlarını büyük atarsa dört yüz elli adım tutuyordu- yapraklı yol demişti.

Nihayet evine geldi. Tek arkadaşının bulunduğu yer… Gerçi o da akşamları geliyordu ama olsun kendisiyle konuşuyordu ya, bu Mahir’e yetiyordu. Anahtarını çıkardı, apartman kilidine soktu ama açılmadı çünkü yanlış anahtarı kullanmıştı.

—Üff… Yine yanlış anahtarı seçtim. Hep böyle oluyor, bıktım ya.

Söylene söylene doğru anahtarı buldu ve evine doğru merdivenleri çıkmaya başladı.

Evi çok yüksekti, en üst katta oturuyordu.

—Madem bu binada tek başımıza oturuyoruz, bu asansöre niye başka numaralar koyulmuş? Bir türlü anlam veremiyorum. Koca binada tek bir daire var ve bir sürü kat numarası var. Ne kadar anlamsız!

Eve girdi, üstünü değiştirdi, temizliğini yaptı, yemeğini yedi… Tüm bunları yaparken aklında biricik arkadaşı vardı. Odasına girdi, pencereye yaklaştı ve seslendi:

—Hey! Arkadaş! Nasılsın? Bende değişen bir şey yok. Her gün, bir öncekinin aynısı. Sen ne kadar şanslısın. Her yeri dolaşıyorsun. Bense tek başımayım, bir okula bir eve… Her zaman olduğu gibi arkadaşı sessizce Mahir’ i dinliyordu.

Bir süre sonra yatağına uzandı. Aradan ne kadar zaman geçmişti bilmiyordu ama yatağında kalktı. Arkadaşını görebileceği pencereye yaklaştı. Tam bir şeyler söyleyecekti ki arkadaşı Ay söze başladı. Bir anda dona kalmıştı. Şimdiye kadar hiç konuşmayan Ay’ın bir anda konuşmaya başlaması onu çok şaşırtmıştı

.

- Şimdi beni iyi dinle, diyerek söze başladı Ay.

Zaten o şaşkınlıkla, dinlemekten başka yapacak bir şeyi yoktu.

-Bu güne kadar seni sabırla dinledim. Nedir kardeşim senden çektiğim! Her akşam geliyorsun. Yok, yapayalnızmış, kimse onu dinlemiyormuş, apartmanda tek başlarınaymışlar, yok ailesinden başka kimsenin ona yardımı dokunmuyormuş… Daha neler neler… Gündüz seni göremiyorum ama güneş sürekli seni izliyor ve bana anlattıkları hiç de senin anlattığın gibi değil.

Bu esnada Mahir gözlerini Ay’dan ayıramıyor ama Ay’ın söyledikleri karşısında da utancından yüzüne bakmaya çekiniyordu.

- Sabah kalktığında suratın sirke satıyormuş. Kahvaltıyı hazırlayan annene bir teşekkür bile etmiyormuşsun. Evden çıkarken evdekilere “Allah’a ısmarladık” bile demiyormuşsun.

Mahir artık çok sevdiği arkadaşının yüzüne bakamaz olmuştu çünkü şöyle bir düşündüğünde bütün anlattıkları doğruydu. Dost acı söyler dedikleri bu olsa gerek, dedi içini çekerek.

- Okula gelelim… Orası zaten başka bir âlem. Sınıfa girdiğinde öğretmenin ve bütün arkadaşların senin gözünün içine bakıyor. Derslerinde başarılı olduğun, çok düzenli, tertipli ve temizliğine dikkat eden bir çocuk olduğun için herkes seni çok seviyor. Ama sen bütün gün kimseyle konuşmuyor, kimsenin yüzüne bile bakmıyorsun. Ondan sonrada gelip bana; okulda tek başımayım, çok canım sıkılıyor, diye dert yanıyorsun.

- Hem apartmanda da tek başınıza değilsiniz. Bunu ben bile görebiliyorum. Apartmana girerken, bina görevlisi amca sana her gün gülümsüyor ama sen kafanı önüne eğmiş, öyle hım hım yürüyorsun.

- Daha bitmedi bazen “yaprak yol”un başında alt katınızda oturan yaşlı teyze elinde poşetlerle yanından geçiyor hiç görmüyorsun. İnsan bir yardım eder. Ah yakınımda olsan da kulaklarını şöyle bir çeksem…

- Gel seninle bir anlaşma yapalım. Eğer söylediklerime kulak verip, çevrendekilere davranışlarını değiştirirsen yarın akşama sana bir hediyem olacak . Yoksa dediğim gibi kulağını çekerim.

Mahir kulağında bir acı hissetti. Gözlerini açtığında, dakikalardır annesinin seslenmesiyle uyanamadığından, küçük kardeşinin kulağını çekmesiyle uyandığını fark etti .

- Hadi oğlum kahvaltı hazır! Elini yüzünü yıka gel sofraya.

Birden yataktan fırladı ve:

- Tamam, anneciğim geliyorum diyerek pencereye koştu. Gökyüzüne baktı. Ay yoktu ama yine de ona ulaşır düşüncesiyle gülücük paketiyle bir teşekkür yolladı.

…

Bütün gün Ay’ın söylediklerini aklından geçirdi ve hepsini uygulamaya çalıştı.

Sabah kalktığında evdeki herkese günaydın dedi.

Anneciğini ve babacığını öptü…

Sınıfa girdiğinde bütün arkadaşlarına selam verdi… Okulda bütün gün yüzü gülüyordu. Bütün gününü dolu dolu geçirmişti, bütün arkadaşları onun yanında olmaktan çok mutluydu.

Ders bitiminde Öğretmeninin yanına gitti ve:

- Öğretmenim bugüne kadar benim için yaptıklarınız için teşekkür ederim, dedi ve öğretmenine okula gelirken bahçelerinden topladığı çiçekleri verdi.

Öğretmeni Mahir’deki değişimi fark etmişti ve elma gibi yanaklarına bir hediye de öğretmeni verdi. Çalışkan bir öğrenci olduğundan öğretmeni zaten Mahir’i çok seviyordu. Ama bu günkü davranışlarından dolayı ona olan sevgisi bir kat daha artmıştı.

O gün okuldan çok farklı ayrıldı. Çok mutluydu. Yol boyunca aslında ne kadar güzel bir sınıfının olduğunu düşündü.

En son “yaprak yol”da yürüyordu ki; yaşlı bir amcayı elinde poşetleriyle gördü ve hemen yardımına koştu. Kim bilir, bu soğuk havada poşet taşımak yaşlı bir amca için ne kadar da zordu. Yorulduğu her halinden belli olan amca belli ki çok memnun olmuştu. Şu işe bakın ki o amca Mahirlerin alt katında oturan Fikret amcanın ta kendisiymiş. Fikret amca Mahir’in yanaklarından öptü:

- Teşekkürler, evladım dedi ve Mahir’e poşetindeki elmalardan bir tane uzattı.

Mahir de:

- Teşekkür ederim Fikret amca, diyerek ayrıldı.

Mahir eve girdiğinde kendini bir başka hissediyordu. Biraz da üzerinde yorgunluk vardı. Üzerini değiştirip yatağa şöyle bir uzandı. Birkaç saat sonra kardeşinin sevinçli sesiyle uyandı.

—Ağabey dışarı bir bakar mısın ne güzel olmuş.

Mahir pencereye yaklaştı. Bir de ne görsün Her taraf bembeyaz olmuş, başını gökyüzüne kaldırdı ve hediyesi için arkadaşı Ay’a teşekkür etti.

]]> http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/mahirin-gordugu-guzel-ruya/feed/ 0 mehmetsozturk http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/05/23/hello-world/ http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/05/23/hello-world/#comments Fri, 23 May 2008 06:06:55 +0000 mehmetsozturk http://mehmetsozturk.wordpress.com/2008/05/23/hello-world/ ]]> Inis ve cikislar insan hayatinin vazgecilmez bir gercegidir. Mutevazi sitemizde hayatimin farkli karelerinde yasadigim bu degisikliklerin uzerimde olusturdugu etkiyi kaleme alarak takdirlerinize sunacagim. Gun olacak daglarin zirvesinde bulutlara yukaridan bakacagiz, gun gelecek ayagim bir tasa takildiginda yere kapaklandigimin resmini olusturmaya calisacagim.

Kimsenin hayati duz bir cizgi halinde ilerlemiyor. Hayatta oldugumuzun gostergesidir, dususler, yanilmalar, surcmeler, … Insan oldugumuzun nisanesidir, bu olumsuzluklari , cikislara, duzeltmelere, dogrulamalara cevirmek …

Kisacasi bu sayfalarda hayat seruvenin merakli, mudekkik bir yolcusunun konugu olacaksiniz. Keyifli bir yolculuk gecireceginizi umit ederim.

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